I'm never going to have a "real job," get over it world.

Here's why.

I've despised every single real job I've ever had. And when I tell this to people, they tell me, "oh, no, everyone feels that way but you just have to tough it out for a while. Just think, if you tough it out, you'll have a steady income and stability in your life!"

No. I mean, I DESPISE the "real jobs" people my age work. I mean, I worked in sales last year for an energy supplier, and even went through a course to get my contracting license because it was good money and I thought it would be nice to have stability. I broke down crying halfway through my day on a daily basis because I hated myself so much for what I was doing and how I was wasting my life at this dead-end occupation, so I quit after two months. I had become crazy depressed and couldn't deal any more. And this is what has happened with every single job I've had.

So I'm the person who draws for a living and then gets side money from selling prose and doing music. Which, actually, ARE all "real jobs," but the majority of people will NEVER see it that way.

I work longer hours than a huge majority of the people in this country. I usually work on art for a MINIMUM of 6-8 hours a day, sometimes 10. I usually practice my instrument for 3 hours a day, along with rehearsals and shows that pop up all over the place, and I also write well into the night. I get around 5 hours of sleep on a regular basis because I work so much. Even when I'm hanging out with friends I have my notebook on my lap and I slowly chip away at filling it my novels' details. In my spare time I go to the gym and work on being a healthy human being because, let's face it, 90% of my work is sitting on my big butt and hardly moving at all. The other 10% is drumming, so it's physical but doesn't count as regular exercise.

I have a better work ethic than most people my age, yet when I tell adults of my occupation, they're all disappointed and act like me not having a "real job" is a lazy problem. Hah.

Just think about it. Without people like me, there would be nothing to decorate stuff with so everything would be boring and depressing (look up studies of effect of fine art on depression), those books that everyone loves reading wouldn't exist (say good bye to George Orwell, J.R. Tolkien, the Bronte sisters...), and the music that people SURROUND their daily lives with (vehicles, concerts, grocery stores, iPods, parties) would also be gone. Your world would be silent, depressing, and stupid, because literary arts make you smarter.

So don't knock the artists!!

The worst is when people I've known for a while (old friends, friends' family, my family, former teachers, etc) ask me what I'm doing with my life. I usually start with music because even though I'm less successful at it, it sounds the most impressive.

"Oh, I went to ________ University for three years and got two music diplomas. Now I'm a professional musician, I fill in for some jazz gigs, show around town in weddings and parties with my country band, teach drum lessons and all that stuff." Then I have to move on and act like my real job is a super cool side thing. "And then in other parts of my day, I'm working as a professional artist. I do a lot of personal AND corporate stuff and my art is selling all over North America. I also get some publishing deals for writing. It's cool stuff, pays my bills and keeps me busy."

This is exactly how I have to say it, otherwise people are like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE YOU IDIOT?!" Except they say it like "Oh... that's... very interesting. You don't hear that very often."

I used to say it like this, which is more what I'm doing for real.

"I work out of my home as a fine artist. People call me up and ask for portraits of their family or pets, or sometimes some paintings for an office and all that, that's my main job. Then I work as a freelance musician. I play the odd jazz gig around town, and then my band has been playing a couple of weddings this year. I teach some drum lessons, too, but those are few and far between. Oh! I'm also working on a novel and I have a couple publishers interested in it, it's a great opportunity."

That's the truth of it. Every time I give the first explanation, I feel dirty on the inside because it's very deceiving, but it's the only time I don't get looked down upon. Some people, when I tell the straight up truth, say "so what are you looking to do in the future? As a career?"

And I'm like "... this?"

And they get all flustered and embarrassed because they know that I know that they don't really think it's a real career. Then they try to cover it up with "... so you're living the dream, huh?"

And I'm like, no, I'll be living the dream when I'm famous. Except I don't say that because then they'll really hate me.

But I'm about to join a semi-famous band so that goal may be coming a bit quicker than I thought it would. You think I'm joking, but I'm serious. Auditioning for a big-time country band, complete with thousands of people per audience and international tours. So if you hear about this super cool new chick drummer coming up with this sweet new country band, my cover may be blown on this blog. Then you'll all find out that sometimes I lie about names and certain objects to throw my thousands of readers off of my real life tracks, and then my life will REALLY be ruined...