Chronicles of the slightly unsound roomates.

Okay, so we're doing the anonymous thing, so I'm going to fabricate a couple of things here. Mostly names. All the events and stories and such are true, but just a head's up that the names are not.

So I live with three of the oddest people I have ever had the pleasure of living with. I tried the four-people-to-one-house thing before, which ended in disaster, but that's because those people were... for lack of a better word, assholes. I pretty much picked three of the most lazy, dishonest, two-faced imbeciles I possibly could and thought it was okay to put all of us in an enclosed space together for an extended period of time.

Life has its learning curves. Believe it or not, it seemed like a good idea at the time. (They may or may not have been friends of mine. I like to keep it classy).

So after that I settled in to a rather nice living situation consisting of me, my cat Oleo, and just one happy roommate. Our parting of ways a few years later was just us moving on with our lives. The best kind of way to part ways, I think. Just a mutual, comfortable letting go.

So I found myself moving in with a few friends of mine because the house is nice and the rent is cheap, and the people are pretty good to live with even though they're all batshit crazy in one way or another.

First, there's John. He's the before-mentioned person that I can never quite interpret. That sometimes gives me a teensy bit of anxiety. Sometimes I can tell he's feeling hostile and will keep to himself, but other times I can just tell he's tired. Sometimes, I can tell he's feeling very friendly and I'm pretty alright with that! The rest of the time, I just have no freaking clue. I'll think he's being hostile, then he's all, "hey! Come have some drinks with me!" To be fair, he's never flat-out hostile. He's just got compulsive tendencies that make him irrationally annoyed with the little things. I like to mentally tell him "hang in there buddy!" but 90% of the time, too scared to say it out loud. Which SOUNDS awful, but I'm actually just apprehensive of everything with a pulse.

Then there's Laura. She's outgoing enough, but like me, everything that moves gives her a bit of a start, so we make a fine pair. Wandering around the house, scaring each other. By accident. And getting startled by the other getting startled. It's really healthy for our young hearts, I promise. Her and I are pretty close friends, so we're good to lean on each other through the rough life times, and that's great! We also share a lot of the same interests and views on the appropriate time and place for conversation, so I'm actually able to work around her and not be interrupted by continual stabs at conversation. Too bad the same can't be said for her, for she is continually plagued by the third roommate, who will soon be explained! Long story short, this relationship is pretty healthy, which is odd enough because I do not cope well with women, 90% of the time. Only this once!

The third roommate is Ian. Ian is also a friend of mine, so that helps living with him! Mostly he works, but also likes to jam in the basement with his band, barbecue, and landscape our miniscule back yard in the spare time he finds. So basically a guy who likes guy stuff. Sometimes I suspect he's trying too hard to impress the idea of him being a man (his multiple shower products suggest a less manly side...) but for the most part, he's just a typical young man. He's also in love with Laura, and is thoroughly convinced that neither of us are aware. Seems pretty proud of it sometimes, too. Makes for awkward evenings sometimes, as I've mentioned before. However, the majority of the time it's not even an issue, so I'm good to deal with it. Laura, not so much... but of course like a typical woman she's refusing to talk to him about it "until he brings it up himself." 

Women, I tell you. Where else do get this craziness??

So you have these three, plus me; an artist struggling to live as a freelancer. I spend most of my time with my face buried in my laptop, making faces at research, manuscript readings, music editing programs, or graphics designs programs. They've just learned to deal with my sporadicness (NOT A REAL WORD) at this point. (okay, apparently it's sporadicalness, sporadicity, or sporadism according to the online dictionary...) So it's been nice to find some who can mentally cope with an ass who will stop in mid-conversation to stare at the wall. My conversational abilities are often obliterated by fast-turning wheels and breakneck gear-changing in my skull. Really the best I can do is jerky conversation that is awkward at best. 

I'm working on it. First step, admitting you have a problem, right?

Though it's gotten me this far in life. 

I type over a bowl of discount food that can't even be taken as a real meal...

   

Okay so long story short, the group of people living together make for fun stories. I just needed to fill you the potential reader in on some character background.