Things got very stressful this week. I'm pretty run into the ground. In fact, I think the stress and anxiety is making me very sick, if my achy body is any indication.
And just now my roommate John got extremely passive-aggressive which is a trigger to my anxiety attacks. As soon as I notice it I don't know how to handle it or work through it and John is one of those guys who can't be reasoned with once his mind is made up.
So I'm having a bit of a pissy night so I'm ranting on my blog because I don't talk to anyone anymore.
I've been reviewing training and show videos for the barn I'm training at, taking care of all feed, equipment, and med orders, payment transfers, repair requests, etc, along with dictating the training schedules for over 50 horses. And planning my own training schedule.
I am also dealing with about 16 art customers at the moment which are circulating through "wait" schedules now that the other job has started, which they were ALL warned about and "okay with." However, there are two specific ones that have been giving me a very rough time with daily e-mails demanding impossible updates.
My editor is threatening to drop my sponsorship if I can't provide some more portions of manuscript for critique and review.
And my music career might be ending before it properly starts, as I certainly don't have time to commit to my band and we've lost a couple of shows because of my schedule. Which I've tried to sub out to other drummers but have only been successful a couple of times. And as it's MY band, it's kind of essential I have time for it.
So yeah. Great that I'm making some money, but not so great that it's this stressful. And each and every job is high-pressure and comes with complainy people.
I just don't have time to really think anymore. I barely make time to eat and only keep up with proper meals by packing "day packs" at the start of the week of fruit, veggies, nuts, and pita bread that I grab and carry around with me all day every day and set alarms every 2 hours to remind me to eat a couple of bites. So that way eating only takes a few seconds.
After my work day wraps up I usually pitch into the housework and take care of my animals.
I'm not sleeping much. And my family is not good. And my life is changing very fast.
Tonight is just not a good night. The day started alright enough but the night just got bad. Some plans fell through. Got a few bad e-mails. Had a bad allergic reaction, and spent two hours cleaning up a room I haven't been in for more than two weeks. But it needed to be cleaned because the boys and their friends made it so gross it was starting to grow mildew and mold on some of the things left in there, and mold can send me into anaphylactic shock. And I don't want to die, so...
But I do this at least one or two times a week. I clean up after everyone's mess. It's what I've always done. Because I'm obsessive/compulsive and I can't help it and I refuse to hold others to my extreme idea of cleanliness because I respect them and their lack of OCD.
So yesterday I did something which was hard, but I did it. I ignored the dishwasher. Problem is, John runs the dishwasher through all the time, and has emptied it a couple of times this month while we do dishes probably once every 2 days because we have 4 people and a small dishwasher. But the 2 times a month have given John a sense of "I do all the work," and he's refusing to empty it.
What a stupid thing, right? Like what a stupid, small, insignificant, selfish, childish thing. It's a fucking dishwasher, get over it.
He runs it through, we all load it up as we dirty dishes, and the couple of times John doesn't empty it I do it the rest of the time.
But I've left it for others lately because I simply don't have time. I don't even have time to eat. And there are three other people to do dishes. I don't even use dishes. I'm so tired, I need to somehow let others do some things.
But it was the wrong choice because John had emptied a few days ago and thus is naturally off the hook for the next two weeks and has gained the special privilege of deciding whose turn it is to do the dishes and being an asshole when they don't do them.
So he decided it was "my turn" solely based on the fact that he thinks Laura won't do it ever because he thinks she's useless and lazy and Ian helped him rake up some leaves like a week and a half ago so therefore he's done his workload and thus it is my turn despite my cleaning both bathrooms, spending hours vacuuming the basement and hallway (it took two and a half hours to do a tiny hallway and a small basement because some people insist on wearing gross shoes in the house and not wiping their feet so I had to be meticulous), cleaning up the gross and moldy basement, handling the flooded laundry room by myself because everyone else was worried it was septic (... it was rain water), and taking care of fixing up our utility payments... along with working, what, four jobs? Clearly, I need to unload the fucking dishwasher.
Because some people can't grow the hell up and stop being selfish.
I should probably mention that I've been playing councilor to Laura about a guy she can't get over, along with another girl with the same problem which might be alright if I wasn't sick of hearing about these boys and the girls' inabilities to talk to them.
So anyways.
Tonight was the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy, which is my favorite TV show and used to be the ONLY one I followed every week until I discovered Doctor Who and Community and Game of Thrones. As Community and Game of Thrones are not currently running, Doctor Who has been my only. And Grey's Anatomy left a HUGE cliffhanger at the end of their last season so I was excited about today because today was the day I get an hour-long break in this screwed up work schedule to just enjoy some TV. I planned it weeks ago. I haven't had a day off of work in over a month and a half.
I sometimes just want to be a girl and enjoy some girly drama. I hardly ever get to be a girl. I'm awful at being a girl. I'm emotionally stunted, I hate talking about girl things, and I would rather wander around in paddock boots and jeans and a t-shirt and get covered in mud and horse poop and dirt than go shopping.
Sometimes, I want to be a girl and watch Grey's Anatomy!
So yesterday I sent everyone who lives here a text saying that I would be using the basement for a certain hour because that's where our TV with cable is. Everyone said it was okay and I was free to enjoy my show.
This morning, during making breakfast, I realize John is being a bit of an ass and very not talking to me, which is weird because usually I can't shut him up when I'm making breakfast. He always wants to talk about shit he's doing and what he's doing that day, and what people have pissed him off lately.
I knew exactly what pissed him off. The stupid effing dishes. I decided to brush it off on the grounds that he would get over it and do them himself like an adult.
Tonight, John gets together with his ex-girlfriend and plan to use the basement for the night. When I learned of this, Ian, Laura and I were in a car with a friend coming home from dinner because they dragged me out for Subway because I was overworked and couldn't walk/talk straight so they made me stop for real food before my hour-long break. So I asked Ian to text John reminding him that I needed the TV for an hour as I did not have my cell phone with me because I'm absent-minded and always forget it at home.
When he did, he received a text that at first he tried to avoid showing to me before reading it out.
"Well if she does the dishes she can have the basement lol."
Which might sound not that bad, but I have heard him outright mock Laura in the same way, in person. Once she left me a couple of bananas when she left for a week, telling me to finish them off so they didn't go bad. I laughed when I received the note and told John, and he said "haha too bad she didn't tell you to do her dishes too!" which later turned into an evening of seething about Laura and her - ahem - one cup and one spoon she forgot to toss in the dishwasher before she left.
So yes. It was malicious. Ian thought it was a joke, but I turned and looked at Laura and she mouthed that she knows exactly what I was thinking.
Nonetheless, John and his ex left me the tv and have been shooting me dirty looks all night. And falling silent every time I enter the room.
So I've had a panic attack. I'm so tired of humans.
9/21/12
Another quick update, I promise I'll post more on Sunday
So I'm on a bit of a time crunch here but I wanted to give a quick update.
I've scheduled a hole in my fine arts commissions to write. I realized a few days ago that I was going crazy when I sat down to write for the first time in weeks and got so emotional over a scene I was writing that there were actual tears for my MC. Which rarely happens and usually only when I'm over-tired. So I realized that I really have to keep at these stories, so I made a spot where I can take a couple of hours every day just to write.
Right now I'm packing up to leave for the weekend. I will be going out to the barn I work at and giving some of the show jumpers some trial runs to see where they're at, and then on Sunday I'm skipping over to an Appy farm (spotty horses) to do some training work on 3 of their 5yos who are starting competition training in Western sports.
I'm at a conflict with one of my art customers right now who is annoyed that her pieces are "taking so long" despite their being larger-than-life oil paintings that require a minimum of about 30 hours of work each. So I will keep you all up to date on THAT drama.
But I'm really pressed for time right now (so sorry!!) so I have to go and do my job. I will come back on Sunday and actually do a useful update!
Thanks so much for your patience, 5 readers. You rock!
I've scheduled a hole in my fine arts commissions to write. I realized a few days ago that I was going crazy when I sat down to write for the first time in weeks and got so emotional over a scene I was writing that there were actual tears for my MC. Which rarely happens and usually only when I'm over-tired. So I realized that I really have to keep at these stories, so I made a spot where I can take a couple of hours every day just to write.
Right now I'm packing up to leave for the weekend. I will be going out to the barn I work at and giving some of the show jumpers some trial runs to see where they're at, and then on Sunday I'm skipping over to an Appy farm (spotty horses) to do some training work on 3 of their 5yos who are starting competition training in Western sports.
I'm at a conflict with one of my art customers right now who is annoyed that her pieces are "taking so long" despite their being larger-than-life oil paintings that require a minimum of about 30 hours of work each. So I will keep you all up to date on THAT drama.
But I'm really pressed for time right now (so sorry!!) so I have to go and do my job. I will come back on Sunday and actually do a useful update!
Thanks so much for your patience, 5 readers. You rock!
9/15/12
What do busy art days look like? Why is everything about to get busier? Let me tell you over this morning's coffee.
Over these past couple of weeks, I haven't had much down time. I have a bit now, but only for about half an hour, so I'm going to think fast and type fast.
I don't know if I've mentioned this on my blog, but I've definitely been alluding to it on Twitter, but I have a real life job now. I recently got hired at a big showjumping barn in Alberta as a full-time trainer and barn manager, and will be working with both mini prix and grand prix competitors. I will also, in the next year, be sponsored as one of their riders. I know it's not art but it's a solid job and, in the end, what I want as a career, so I'm going to do with it for now and see where it gets me.
On the other hand, my fine arts business has exploded all over everywhere with awesomeness and popularity and I'm not 100% sure how it happened.
I was not going through a good time, two-three weeks ago. Art was happening, but not fast enough (I was barely making enough to cover bills), the writing won't pay off on a monetary basis for another few months, and my music tanked with one band bowing out and the other sans bass player. We got a couple of shows this month and a few next, but it's still only $150 for me per show, and $300/mo from music is nice but not enough to pay rent.
So an old customer of mine came back a couple of weeks ago and laid down three commissions after I had just picked up commissions from about 5 different authors. And then there were my two corporate customers that were paying off every couple of weeks but being extremely frustrating about it/horrible to work with but still paying well.
Well, when this customer came back and started showing off the new pieces I did for her, another couple of farms stepped up and wanted some done too. A major showjumping competitor (I cant's say who but he was in the Olympics and isn't Canadian...) caught wind of the horse-related designs from my ex-boyfriend (who is still a very good friend of mine and competes in grand prix showjumping) and he and I are currently e-mailing back and forth talking money and commissions and timelines, along with contacting professional photographers to get the rights to their photos so I can legally copy them.
So all in all, it's suddenly very busy. I have three farms, five authors, two businesses, and a freaking Olympian on the go right now. Which is too much, in short. I actually can't do them all at once, so a few are circulating through wait lists, especially seeing how they're ALL for multiple commissions.
Which is cool, if it keeps up. If I am always this successful in art, then I probably won't do anything but horse training and art for the rest of my life. Which is fine. I would like that.
So I just want to talk, really quick in the next couple of minutes here, what a day in the life of a busy artist looks like.
This morning is a pretty typical day. It's a weekend, so I'm taking it a little easy, but I'm going to run down my typical day.
First, I get up. I look at my ragged self in the mirror across from my bed and have a 10-minute silent argument with myself assuring myself that, in fact, if I do not un-lazy and take a shower, I will scare all of my customers with my poofy, poofy mane.
So I take a shower and then grab my laptop and sit over my breakfast and coffee, scrolling through e-mails and making a list on a word document of things that have to get done today and filtering through the big list of things I have on the go to see if there's anything else I can take on.
After the coffee, I head to my "studio." A lot of artists have a separate room for their studio, mine is now my bedroom. I have a table set up and a paper-sized space laid out on it, while every other surface in my room is piled with art paper, pencil boxes, art tools, concept sketches, paint tubes, and other various art supplies.
Before I used to put them away every day on a nice tall and thin Ikea shelf I have, but lately there's been too much daily art to be able to do that, so it's chaos time.
I work on one piece for a few hours, then take a couple hours to reply to e-mails and dig up some references. I then head back to working on a piece for another few hours. Then I re-check my e-mails, reply to any new ones, make any phone calls that need to be made in relation to art, and if there's digital work to do, I do it. This includes photo re-touching to showcase on my website, cleaning up line art to send to people, and creating some time lapses for the people who are interested in them. This usually takes me to the early evening, in which my productive gear kicks in and I art for about 6-7 hours straight. This takes me to late at night where I will get back into any digital work and comb out the list of things to do again. If there's any feedback from anyone I've e-mailed progress to, I will fix what they need fixed, and by the time I wrap up I've worked straight all day and it's usually the early hours of the morning.
I sleep for about 6-7 hours and then do it all again.
I've been doing this for two weeks.
It's crazy. Seriously.
Today I have to meet in person with two customers and then go art supply shopping because I'm out of fixative and HB/3B/3H pencils. And THEN I have to go buy super glue because in 5 days I'm going out to the show jumping barn and giving some of the competition horses test runs and strutting my stuff once more for the owners so they can feel okay about letting me work unsupervised with $20k-$35k horses.
EDIT: ALSO LAST SUNDAY I SAW ERIC LAMAZE LIVE. I'm not lying. Seriously. I almost died. I did cry. Because he gave a very moving speech and I was so excited that I was shaking so moving speech just tipped me over the edge.
Here's a picture I took. That's him. I am such a creeper.
He didn't ride because his horse is young/inexperienced, but I DID see Ian Miller, Rich Fellers, Robert Whitaker, and many many more phenomenal riders ride the course. I learned a lot and got that much more excited to start my show jumping job.
I don't know if I've mentioned this on my blog, but I've definitely been alluding to it on Twitter, but I have a real life job now. I recently got hired at a big showjumping barn in Alberta as a full-time trainer and barn manager, and will be working with both mini prix and grand prix competitors. I will also, in the next year, be sponsored as one of their riders. I know it's not art but it's a solid job and, in the end, what I want as a career, so I'm going to do with it for now and see where it gets me.
On the other hand, my fine arts business has exploded all over everywhere with awesomeness and popularity and I'm not 100% sure how it happened.
I was not going through a good time, two-three weeks ago. Art was happening, but not fast enough (I was barely making enough to cover bills), the writing won't pay off on a monetary basis for another few months, and my music tanked with one band bowing out and the other sans bass player. We got a couple of shows this month and a few next, but it's still only $150 for me per show, and $300/mo from music is nice but not enough to pay rent.
So an old customer of mine came back a couple of weeks ago and laid down three commissions after I had just picked up commissions from about 5 different authors. And then there were my two corporate customers that were paying off every couple of weeks but being extremely frustrating about it/horrible to work with but still paying well.
Well, when this customer came back and started showing off the new pieces I did for her, another couple of farms stepped up and wanted some done too. A major showjumping competitor (I cant's say who but he was in the Olympics and isn't Canadian...) caught wind of the horse-related designs from my ex-boyfriend (who is still a very good friend of mine and competes in grand prix showjumping) and he and I are currently e-mailing back and forth talking money and commissions and timelines, along with contacting professional photographers to get the rights to their photos so I can legally copy them.
So all in all, it's suddenly very busy. I have three farms, five authors, two businesses, and a freaking Olympian on the go right now. Which is too much, in short. I actually can't do them all at once, so a few are circulating through wait lists, especially seeing how they're ALL for multiple commissions.
Which is cool, if it keeps up. If I am always this successful in art, then I probably won't do anything but horse training and art for the rest of my life. Which is fine. I would like that.
So I just want to talk, really quick in the next couple of minutes here, what a day in the life of a busy artist looks like.
This morning is a pretty typical day. It's a weekend, so I'm taking it a little easy, but I'm going to run down my typical day.
First, I get up. I look at my ragged self in the mirror across from my bed and have a 10-minute silent argument with myself assuring myself that, in fact, if I do not un-lazy and take a shower, I will scare all of my customers with my poofy, poofy mane.
So I take a shower and then grab my laptop and sit over my breakfast and coffee, scrolling through e-mails and making a list on a word document of things that have to get done today and filtering through the big list of things I have on the go to see if there's anything else I can take on.
After the coffee, I head to my "studio." A lot of artists have a separate room for their studio, mine is now my bedroom. I have a table set up and a paper-sized space laid out on it, while every other surface in my room is piled with art paper, pencil boxes, art tools, concept sketches, paint tubes, and other various art supplies.
Before I used to put them away every day on a nice tall and thin Ikea shelf I have, but lately there's been too much daily art to be able to do that, so it's chaos time.
I work on one piece for a few hours, then take a couple hours to reply to e-mails and dig up some references. I then head back to working on a piece for another few hours. Then I re-check my e-mails, reply to any new ones, make any phone calls that need to be made in relation to art, and if there's digital work to do, I do it. This includes photo re-touching to showcase on my website, cleaning up line art to send to people, and creating some time lapses for the people who are interested in them. This usually takes me to the early evening, in which my productive gear kicks in and I art for about 6-7 hours straight. This takes me to late at night where I will get back into any digital work and comb out the list of things to do again. If there's any feedback from anyone I've e-mailed progress to, I will fix what they need fixed, and by the time I wrap up I've worked straight all day and it's usually the early hours of the morning.
I sleep for about 6-7 hours and then do it all again.
I've been doing this for two weeks.
It's crazy. Seriously.
Today I have to meet in person with two customers and then go art supply shopping because I'm out of fixative and HB/3B/3H pencils. And THEN I have to go buy super glue because in 5 days I'm going out to the show jumping barn and giving some of the competition horses test runs and strutting my stuff once more for the owners so they can feel okay about letting me work unsupervised with $20k-$35k horses.
EDIT: ALSO LAST SUNDAY I SAW ERIC LAMAZE LIVE. I'm not lying. Seriously. I almost died. I did cry. Because he gave a very moving speech and I was so excited that I was shaking so moving speech just tipped me over the edge.
Here's a picture I took. That's him. I am such a creeper.
He didn't ride because his horse is young/inexperienced, but I DID see Ian Miller, Rich Fellers, Robert Whitaker, and many many more phenomenal riders ride the course. I learned a lot and got that much more excited to start my show jumping job.
9/14/12
I'm so sorry. I'm still busy. But I will come back.
I feel bad for my 5 readers. I mean, here's this sub-par blog about someone's life that I'm not sure why ANYONE (never mind 5 people) would care about and I just walked away from it for almost a week. My readers are never coming back, I'm sure of it.
I've never been this art-busy in my life. With all the character designs, I'm also designing an album cover for a local band, I have two HUGE paintings on the go, and four graphite portraits in the wings to do in my spare time. And of course, EVERYONE needs them done ASAP.
Seriously.
I haven't written a word in the novels this week, and it's driving me crazy. I haven't touched a drum kit in who knows how many days.
I don't sleep, I forget to eat because I'm busy, and let's not even mention the fact that the first human interaction I've had in three days was an hour ago when Laura started singing "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" loudly in the hallway of our bedrooms, and Ian and I burst out of our rooms to join in. Humorous, but after it happened, I realized I hadn't seen anyone the prior two days.
I've been drinking a full pot of coffee a day.
A full pot.
Like, not half full, brimming.
I'm probably going to have a heart attack. That and the lack of food. My pants are loose-fitting, as of about three days ago. And most girls would be ecstatic, but it's not healthy.
FINE ART IS KILLING ME. I should have turned some of these guys down but the thought of having a comfortable financial bed at the end of this is driving me on.
In between working on people's art, I've been doing promotional videos and such, trying to grab as much attention as possible, because due to some recent musical failure it looks like music will not be a career that I am looking at anywhere in the near future. Art, on the other hand, is. And if my books are successful, maybe those too.
The positive thing about all of this artwork is that I do very much enjoy drawing, despite my continual complaining about it, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if it ended up being my career.
I've never been this art-busy in my life. With all the character designs, I'm also designing an album cover for a local band, I have two HUGE paintings on the go, and four graphite portraits in the wings to do in my spare time. And of course, EVERYONE needs them done ASAP.
Seriously.
I haven't written a word in the novels this week, and it's driving me crazy. I haven't touched a drum kit in who knows how many days.
I don't sleep, I forget to eat because I'm busy, and let's not even mention the fact that the first human interaction I've had in three days was an hour ago when Laura started singing "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" loudly in the hallway of our bedrooms, and Ian and I burst out of our rooms to join in. Humorous, but after it happened, I realized I hadn't seen anyone the prior two days.
I've been drinking a full pot of coffee a day.
A full pot.
Like, not half full, brimming.
I'm probably going to have a heart attack. That and the lack of food. My pants are loose-fitting, as of about three days ago. And most girls would be ecstatic, but it's not healthy.
FINE ART IS KILLING ME. I should have turned some of these guys down but the thought of having a comfortable financial bed at the end of this is driving me on.
In between working on people's art, I've been doing promotional videos and such, trying to grab as much attention as possible, because due to some recent musical failure it looks like music will not be a career that I am looking at anywhere in the near future. Art, on the other hand, is. And if my books are successful, maybe those too.
The positive thing about all of this artwork is that I do very much enjoy drawing, despite my continual complaining about it, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if it ended up being my career.
9/6/12
I've been busy.
Seriously, seriously busy. I've been going constantly working on expanding, solidifying, and making five separate authors AND an editor happy, along with two farm owners and business e-mails out the you-know-where.
Hello, I'm The Artist and I have established myself into some stupidly complicated careers.
Just kind of trying to keep up with this blog because I feel like I've let all of my five readers down skipping out on postings. It still amazes me that a small handful of random people actually read this stuff, and I'm really sorry that I've skipped days!
I just have NOT found the time to do personal stuff. I haven't slept in three days because I've been so busy. I'm about to go to bed, but I just wanted to hop on here and write.
So, just to fill you in on the life of a 3x artist.
In the fine arts field, things are crazy. I'm expanding my business into the digital realm. I've been experimenting and goofing around in Photoshop paintings since I was a teenager, but I've never offered it professionally. Now that I've inserted myself into the world of character design and concepts, it would actually be better for me to do them in Photoshop instead of on paper, just because of the industry right now. Some authors have been asking me why I DON'T do that, and have acted interested, so I've been readying myself to offer the PS paintings professionally.
But that means lots of research, lots of practice pictures in all of my spare time, and lots of tutorial reading to be sure I'm not doing anything stupid due to a self-taught background.
Which is the PITA for every medium I've ever worked with. I've never taken art lessons, and every time I do something I haven't done in a while I get paranoid that I'm going to miss something or skip over important stages out of ignorance. Which really doesn't happen, but hey! I'm super anxious.
So aside from the Photoshop, I've had a huge stack of designs and concepts to work and research, and then a "rush" portrait to do. All in all, in the span of three days I've had to sort through about 17 drawings in some way, shape, or form, and I've done 3 practice paintings in PS along with 2 studies. I've also had to do a few anatomy studies because in the stack of character designs I've stumbled across some shady areas of my knowledge of the human body in motion. Which is extremely frustrating for someone who's been professionally drawing humans for the past 7 years.
Due to my sudden rise in fine art demand, I've had to bench my novels for a bit. I just can't keep up with them. I just sent that e-mail off today, but before then I was struggling to write a couple thousand words a day along with everything else just to shut the editor up (he keeps demanding to know why I haven't sent anything off to the critical analysis lady who is the MOST USELESS CRITIC EVER). But I can't, I need sleep, so I probably won't get ANYTHING written until next Monday.
Which is sad, I like writing, but art is making me money so I have to side-track for a bit.
Then, because it's September, there's a bunch of BBQs and parties and picnics and the like, along with some weddings gearing up for the "pretty week" in Alberta where all the leaves are bright red and orange, so my band just got an onslaught of "play for my party" e-mails, and I've been juggling those and booking with my band mates to make sure they can make the shows and THEN explaining exactly why some clients are not able to pay us $50 for the whole band for two hours of music, because our flat fee for two hours is $750 and that is a considerable difference. And because I'm over-tired, these e-mails take FOREVER to type because I have to make sure I don't say something along the lines of "YOU IDIOT, YOU NEED TO PAY YOUR MUSICIANS PROPERLY. WE ARE PEOPLE TOO."
Because that wouldn't be professional.
On top of this all, normal life is still a thing and I still have to do thing like grocery shopping, cooking meals, showering, meeting customers, some semblance of housework, and acknowledging the existence of other humans in my presence. There's just not enough hours in the day.
With that, I'm going to bed.
If any of this post is incoherent, I apologize. I'm too tired to proof-read or properly function, which is a dangerous combination.
Also it took me a couple of hard-thinking minutes to realize that the word I was looking for in the above sentence was "incoherent." You know I'm tired when my vocab tanks.
Hello, I'm The Artist and I have established myself into some stupidly complicated careers.
Just kind of trying to keep up with this blog because I feel like I've let all of my five readers down skipping out on postings. It still amazes me that a small handful of random people actually read this stuff, and I'm really sorry that I've skipped days!
I just have NOT found the time to do personal stuff. I haven't slept in three days because I've been so busy. I'm about to go to bed, but I just wanted to hop on here and write.
So, just to fill you in on the life of a 3x artist.
In the fine arts field, things are crazy. I'm expanding my business into the digital realm. I've been experimenting and goofing around in Photoshop paintings since I was a teenager, but I've never offered it professionally. Now that I've inserted myself into the world of character design and concepts, it would actually be better for me to do them in Photoshop instead of on paper, just because of the industry right now. Some authors have been asking me why I DON'T do that, and have acted interested, so I've been readying myself to offer the PS paintings professionally.
But that means lots of research, lots of practice pictures in all of my spare time, and lots of tutorial reading to be sure I'm not doing anything stupid due to a self-taught background.
Which is the PITA for every medium I've ever worked with. I've never taken art lessons, and every time I do something I haven't done in a while I get paranoid that I'm going to miss something or skip over important stages out of ignorance. Which really doesn't happen, but hey! I'm super anxious.
So aside from the Photoshop, I've had a huge stack of designs and concepts to work and research, and then a "rush" portrait to do. All in all, in the span of three days I've had to sort through about 17 drawings in some way, shape, or form, and I've done 3 practice paintings in PS along with 2 studies. I've also had to do a few anatomy studies because in the stack of character designs I've stumbled across some shady areas of my knowledge of the human body in motion. Which is extremely frustrating for someone who's been professionally drawing humans for the past 7 years.
Due to my sudden rise in fine art demand, I've had to bench my novels for a bit. I just can't keep up with them. I just sent that e-mail off today, but before then I was struggling to write a couple thousand words a day along with everything else just to shut the editor up (he keeps demanding to know why I haven't sent anything off to the critical analysis lady who is the MOST USELESS CRITIC EVER). But I can't, I need sleep, so I probably won't get ANYTHING written until next Monday.
Which is sad, I like writing, but art is making me money so I have to side-track for a bit.
Then, because it's September, there's a bunch of BBQs and parties and picnics and the like, along with some weddings gearing up for the "pretty week" in Alberta where all the leaves are bright red and orange, so my band just got an onslaught of "play for my party" e-mails, and I've been juggling those and booking with my band mates to make sure they can make the shows and THEN explaining exactly why some clients are not able to pay us $50 for the whole band for two hours of music, because our flat fee for two hours is $750 and that is a considerable difference. And because I'm over-tired, these e-mails take FOREVER to type because I have to make sure I don't say something along the lines of "YOU IDIOT, YOU NEED TO PAY YOUR MUSICIANS PROPERLY. WE ARE PEOPLE TOO."
Because that wouldn't be professional.
On top of this all, normal life is still a thing and I still have to do thing like grocery shopping, cooking meals, showering, meeting customers, some semblance of housework, and acknowledging the existence of other humans in my presence. There's just not enough hours in the day.
With that, I'm going to bed.
If any of this post is incoherent, I apologize. I'm too tired to proof-read or properly function, which is a dangerous combination.
Also it took me a couple of hard-thinking minutes to realize that the word I was looking for in the above sentence was "incoherent." You know I'm tired when my vocab tanks.
9/2/12
Winters in Alberta, rating on fun-meter: absolute zero.
I hate winter.
But in all honesty, in Canada, no one likes winter. And those that actually like winter only like it because of the snow and how pretty it looks, but no one likes the way snow looks in the city because it's all dirty and been walked all over and sprayed with road debris. So no one in Canadian cities like winters.
Unless they live in BC. Because winters there don't count.
I live in central Alberta. Winters here are mother nature's attempt to see just how miserable a place can get. First the snow happens, and then it melts a bit, just to give the ground this slippery, crunchy, lumpy, slip-on-it-and-your-legs-will-probably-break footing. Then it snows again and you're walking across this snow-covered, half-slush surface with a slippery under layer. Then it snows again and you're like alright, good, now I can walk without DYING.
But you also have to wade through knee-high powder, the bottom of which is a crunchy/uneven bed so it's a constant struggle and the OPPOSITE OF FUN. If you look up the antonym of fun, it's "walkingthroughAlbertasnowdrifts."
Then there's the wind. There's always wind in the winter. And it makes it that much colder. And then on top of the cold and the wind you have days where you never see the sun because it's only light out for maybe 7 hours a day or so. 10am-5pm, ish, is a mid-winter daylight schedule. You get some sort of half-light from like 8-10am and 5-7pm but it's grey and gross and miserable and cloudy anyways, so it doesn't count.
So basically going outside is a compilation of trying your best not to slip and fall, trying your best not to blink because if you too much or too hard do your eyelashes will freeze together, trying to find a compromise between covering your face with a scarf and having a cold, wet piece of cloth against your mouth or having no scarf and having your face ripped off by frost bite, navigating through miserable half-light or darkness, and probably not warm even a little bit. Also, when you first step outside, the air is so cold that it chokes you for the first few breaths if you aren't careful; you have to take a very slow breath so the air has a chance to warm up/your lungs can slowly adjust, or breathe through a scarf or your hand.
What part of this sounds like fun? Seriously.
Oh, and I almost forgot one of my least favorite parts. Before you CAN go outside, you have to put on boots (annoying for a person who has spent the summer in flip flops and fall/spring in slip-on shoes), a big freaking coat (and if you're a wuss like me, a sweater first), gloves, a scarf, a hat, probably pull up a hood, and if you're going to be outside for a LONG TIME you'll want some warm pants over that too.
So basically whenever you want to pop across the street for a coffee, it takes 5 minutes of prep before you can even go outside.
Then before you touch anything/do anything you have to take your gloves off because who can do ANYTHING well with gloves on?!
People who have vehicles have to take a stake with a plastic blade on the end of it and hack at their windows to get the ice and snow and frost off of them before sitting in their disgustingly cold boxes of sadness and woe and quake uncontrollably, praying for their car to heat up faster, because it's been 10 minutes and you can still see your breath.
And while we're on the subject of cars, people in Edmonton and its surrounding cities SUCK AT DRIVING in the summer. You add ice and snow and wind and gross to that and you have a million HUGE, high-powered, high-speed WEAPONS flying around everywhere. If you're IN another car, your life is at risk. If you're outside of a building and outside of a car, may God help you.
The only colors in winter are grey, white, and brown. And in the intermittent not-cloudy days, the blue sky is not a nice blue. It's the coldest-looking blue you can imagine.
But you think, hey, if it's nice and sunny out at least it will be a bit warmer?
NOPE.
Clouds act as insulators. The cloudless days are the coldest of the season. That, and no heat is absorbed by the earth because it's covered in ice, so it just reflects back. AND guaranteed if there's no clouds, it's because it's windy-as-all-hell and they've all been blown away so it's minus freeze-your-ass-off with a minus holy-crap-I'm-going-to-die wind chill.
So it's like "LOL I'm sunny out but SCREW YOU."
There is nothing fun, beautiful, or happy about Alberta winters. And the next one is fast-approaching.
Luckily, this is the first year that I will not be in school during the winter, and because I work from home I MIGHT be okay. I might even get to see the sun on a regular basis!
I still hate winter, though.
But in all honesty, in Canada, no one likes winter. And those that actually like winter only like it because of the snow and how pretty it looks, but no one likes the way snow looks in the city because it's all dirty and been walked all over and sprayed with road debris. So no one in Canadian cities like winters.
Unless they live in BC. Because winters there don't count.
I live in central Alberta. Winters here are mother nature's attempt to see just how miserable a place can get. First the snow happens, and then it melts a bit, just to give the ground this slippery, crunchy, lumpy, slip-on-it-and-your-legs-will-probably-break footing. Then it snows again and you're walking across this snow-covered, half-slush surface with a slippery under layer. Then it snows again and you're like alright, good, now I can walk without DYING.
But you also have to wade through knee-high powder, the bottom of which is a crunchy/uneven bed so it's a constant struggle and the OPPOSITE OF FUN. If you look up the antonym of fun, it's "walkingthroughAlbertasnowdrifts."
Then there's the wind. There's always wind in the winter. And it makes it that much colder. And then on top of the cold and the wind you have days where you never see the sun because it's only light out for maybe 7 hours a day or so. 10am-5pm, ish, is a mid-winter daylight schedule. You get some sort of half-light from like 8-10am and 5-7pm but it's grey and gross and miserable and cloudy anyways, so it doesn't count.
So basically going outside is a compilation of trying your best not to slip and fall, trying your best not to blink because if you too much or too hard do your eyelashes will freeze together, trying to find a compromise between covering your face with a scarf and having a cold, wet piece of cloth against your mouth or having no scarf and having your face ripped off by frost bite, navigating through miserable half-light or darkness, and probably not warm even a little bit. Also, when you first step outside, the air is so cold that it chokes you for the first few breaths if you aren't careful; you have to take a very slow breath so the air has a chance to warm up/your lungs can slowly adjust, or breathe through a scarf or your hand.
What part of this sounds like fun? Seriously.
Oh, and I almost forgot one of my least favorite parts. Before you CAN go outside, you have to put on boots (annoying for a person who has spent the summer in flip flops and fall/spring in slip-on shoes), a big freaking coat (and if you're a wuss like me, a sweater first), gloves, a scarf, a hat, probably pull up a hood, and if you're going to be outside for a LONG TIME you'll want some warm pants over that too.
So basically whenever you want to pop across the street for a coffee, it takes 5 minutes of prep before you can even go outside.
Then before you touch anything/do anything you have to take your gloves off because who can do ANYTHING well with gloves on?!
People who have vehicles have to take a stake with a plastic blade on the end of it and hack at their windows to get the ice and snow and frost off of them before sitting in their disgustingly cold boxes of sadness and woe and quake uncontrollably, praying for their car to heat up faster, because it's been 10 minutes and you can still see your breath.
And while we're on the subject of cars, people in Edmonton and its surrounding cities SUCK AT DRIVING in the summer. You add ice and snow and wind and gross to that and you have a million HUGE, high-powered, high-speed WEAPONS flying around everywhere. If you're IN another car, your life is at risk. If you're outside of a building and outside of a car, may God help you.
The only colors in winter are grey, white, and brown. And in the intermittent not-cloudy days, the blue sky is not a nice blue. It's the coldest-looking blue you can imagine.
But you think, hey, if it's nice and sunny out at least it will be a bit warmer?
NOPE.
Clouds act as insulators. The cloudless days are the coldest of the season. That, and no heat is absorbed by the earth because it's covered in ice, so it just reflects back. AND guaranteed if there's no clouds, it's because it's windy-as-all-hell and they've all been blown away so it's minus freeze-your-ass-off with a minus holy-crap-I'm-going-to-die wind chill.
So it's like "LOL I'm sunny out but SCREW YOU."
There is nothing fun, beautiful, or happy about Alberta winters. And the next one is fast-approaching.
Luckily, this is the first year that I will not be in school during the winter, and because I work from home I MIGHT be okay. I might even get to see the sun on a regular basis!
I still hate winter, though.
9/1/12
Coffeeshop writing session, take 3.
Alright, so I guess my 5 readers all know that the last attempt at coffeeshop writing went horridly. I didn't get any work done and it was a huge mass of bad luck and bad experiences. So this time I am back up in the first shop that I attempted this in, and it's going well. I've actually gotten quite a big chunk written and things are going good so far. It helps that it is very much writing weather outside; it's cold and rainy and windy and the kind of weather even rainy day enthusiasts hate.
I had to meet with an author earlier and discuss a series of new character sketches because he's changed his mind about the book he's writing. Which is good money, I guess, for me, but bad luck for him because now he has five useless designs. I don't understand why people would pay me so much money to do this stuff if they're not sure about it, it just doesn't make sense.
I guess they've got real jobs on the side and have money to spare.
So now I am waiting on a friend I am supposed to meet here for a coffee. I went to high school with him and we spent a lot of time together before I moved out and took off to a different city for University. However, he's now moving out of the country so we're doing a quick coffee before he leaves.
Then I have two more customer meetings before I start up on another realism design for another customer and then that will take me to bed time. But between the customer and the friend I have 3 hours so I thought I'd stick around and write. Turns out it was totally productive.
BUT GUESS WHAT. Tomorrow, my life gets momentarily exciting!
My all-time music hero (that isn't a drummer) Paul Brandt is doing a show in Edmonton tomorrow... for free! And it's quite unexpected. I happened to see the announcement over Twitter (side note, follow me @artineverysense) and so it's come as a complete surprise. I'm reeling. I've never seen him live before and the thought of witnessing that much musical awesomeness on a live stage is enough to make my head spin. I won't be sleeping tonight.
OR FOR THIS WEEK BECAUSE GUESS WHAT AGAIN.
I. GET. TO. SEE. ERIC. LAMAZE. LIVE.
I'm going to die of excitement overload. Seriously. My head is pounding because I'm so excited.
For those of you who missed my Olympic spaz-out week (lucky you if you did), Eric Lamaze is my hero of everything horse. I stayed up all night every night for a week just to watch this guy ride live on TV, and now I'm spending money I probably can't afford to to pay for gas so my friend will drive me down to Calgary to see him in at Spruce Meadows next Sunday, where they will be doing a Hickstead tribute in the morning.
Amazing. I will probably cry.
So I'm not sleeping this week. I have enough excited energy to last me years. It's not going to be pretty.
My ex-boyfriend/still-good-friend/horse trainer/Grand Prix competitor keeps bugging me about he's already met the guy/competed alongside him a few years back. He will never let me live it down.
Though I wouldn't get the same opportunity anyways because I don't showjump at Grand Prix level anyways. Pfft.
Anyways, that's my life right now. I have 20 minutes to finish up my writing session before my friend gets here. Ciao.
... side-note, I asked a guy to momentarily watch my possessions about an hour ago so I could run to the bathroom and he's been awkwardly glancing in my direction ever since. Every time I look up he's watching me and then he smiles and gives a wave.
I think he's flirting with me but I'm socially inept and thus have no idea. Sometimes I really really curse my social anxiety. He's pretty good-looking. Grrr.
Makes up for the fact that I got asked out by a 40yo man via napkin yesterday. I should post pictures of it. Holy. Yes. I will when I get home.
ANYWAYS. WRITING TIME.
I had to meet with an author earlier and discuss a series of new character sketches because he's changed his mind about the book he's writing. Which is good money, I guess, for me, but bad luck for him because now he has five useless designs. I don't understand why people would pay me so much money to do this stuff if they're not sure about it, it just doesn't make sense.
I guess they've got real jobs on the side and have money to spare.
So now I am waiting on a friend I am supposed to meet here for a coffee. I went to high school with him and we spent a lot of time together before I moved out and took off to a different city for University. However, he's now moving out of the country so we're doing a quick coffee before he leaves.
Then I have two more customer meetings before I start up on another realism design for another customer and then that will take me to bed time. But between the customer and the friend I have 3 hours so I thought I'd stick around and write. Turns out it was totally productive.
BUT GUESS WHAT. Tomorrow, my life gets momentarily exciting!
My all-time music hero (that isn't a drummer) Paul Brandt is doing a show in Edmonton tomorrow... for free! And it's quite unexpected. I happened to see the announcement over Twitter (side note, follow me @artineverysense) and so it's come as a complete surprise. I'm reeling. I've never seen him live before and the thought of witnessing that much musical awesomeness on a live stage is enough to make my head spin. I won't be sleeping tonight.
OR FOR THIS WEEK BECAUSE GUESS WHAT AGAIN.
I. GET. TO. SEE. ERIC. LAMAZE. LIVE.
I'm going to die of excitement overload. Seriously. My head is pounding because I'm so excited.
For those of you who missed my Olympic spaz-out week (lucky you if you did), Eric Lamaze is my hero of everything horse. I stayed up all night every night for a week just to watch this guy ride live on TV, and now I'm spending money I probably can't afford to to pay for gas so my friend will drive me down to Calgary to see him in at Spruce Meadows next Sunday, where they will be doing a Hickstead tribute in the morning.
Amazing. I will probably cry.
So I'm not sleeping this week. I have enough excited energy to last me years. It's not going to be pretty.
My ex-boyfriend/still-good-friend/horse trainer/Grand Prix competitor keeps bugging me about he's already met the guy/competed alongside him a few years back. He will never let me live it down.
Though I wouldn't get the same opportunity anyways because I don't showjump at Grand Prix level anyways. Pfft.
Anyways, that's my life right now. I have 20 minutes to finish up my writing session before my friend gets here. Ciao.
... side-note, I asked a guy to momentarily watch my possessions about an hour ago so I could run to the bathroom and he's been awkwardly glancing in my direction ever since. Every time I look up he's watching me and then he smiles and gives a wave.
I think he's flirting with me but I'm socially inept and thus have no idea. Sometimes I really really curse my social anxiety. He's pretty good-looking. Grrr.
Makes up for the fact that I got asked out by a 40yo man via napkin yesterday. I should post pictures of it. Holy. Yes. I will when I get home.
ANYWAYS. WRITING TIME.
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