At 3am, a lot more things seem like complete and total dickwads than usual...

This is another 3am post. I didn't proof-read the other one and I won't this one because both times I've been so tired I have to prop myself up with walls and pillows to type and keep my laptop on my lap. Hah. So these might not be coherent.

So guess what happened again! If you guessed another freaking storm, congrats. This time I've managed to convince myself that I'm not going to die, but as soon as I did mother nature was like "well f*ck you then!!" and decided to make sure if I'm not fearing her, I'm at the very least cursing her.

This has been done in the form of strobe light lightning (there's SO MUCH OF IT YOU GUYS! Like every second there's a flash, if not more) resulting in a constant rumble of thunder punctuated only by the loud-ass, house-shaking explosions that happen every couple of minutes. Just long enough between each of them for me to slip into half-sleep before being brutally yanked back.

Dear mother nature. I just want to sleep. That is ALL I WANT TO DO. Can you do this truly impressive light show at like, 10 this morning so I can watch the lightning and not want to shoot myself in the face?

Anyways. I've compiled a short mental list of some of the inanimate things I find to be "dickwads" because, hell, what more can I do when I'm angry at nature and extremely sleep deprived?


In no particular order:

1. Nature. Just as long as it's making my life miserable. I love nature beyond all belief when it's not being an asshole.
2. My laptop. Living to torture me.
3. Air pressure. You don't need to open and shut my door a few times a night. I need the window open so I don't cook. Leave my door alone.
4. Milk. Screw milk.
5. The direction in which the crank on my window needs to turn to open it. It doesn't make any sense. None.
6. Fold-down chairs. They are all terrifying sons of cows.
7. Castles. "OH LOOK AT ME I'M A SUPER COOL CASTLE," Yeah, F**K YOU CASTLE!
8. Spellcheck. You're a smug sonofa- but you can't recognize your own name. You're an idiot.
9.  Physics. Keeps trying to convince us it's real but random occurrences suggest otherwise.

I'm sorry. That was all way too profane for anything, but it's okay because later today, I'm going to wake up and realize what I've done and maybe try to fix the anger.


EDIT: OMG. NATURE IS SUCH A JERK. As soon as I finish writing this, the wind decides to blow RIGHT IN MY WINDOW which NEVER happens and has to be at a VERY SPECIFIC ANGLE to do anything. It sent this huge spray of rainwater into my room and now I need to keep my window closed and die of overheating because of how hot it is in this stupid house just to prevent getting soaked.

Worst night. I'm so tired.