Also I might have led on that I was going to post this sooner, but as soon as I sat down to write it my band showed up and then afterwards I had to do another round of quick-fire sketching and sending off to a customer who can't seem to find the right character pose in what I'm sketching.
"Okay but now make her a little more solid on the ground."
Wtf is that supposed to mean?! It's a sketch!
Anyways.
So I have a bit of a mental guide to being an ass through doing nice things. That sounds contradictory, but I promise you it's not. Bono is one of those people. I really dislike Bono. He is such a d-bag. And everyone's like "noooo, he donates so much money to starving children he cares so much about people!" Well he's still an ass!
If you're every wondering if you are an ass, read this and maybe it will clear things up. These are my top ten reasons to dislike people who sometimes do good things.
10. Church people who are church people for the sake of saying they are church people and can hold their holier-than-thou-ness over the heads of all of the "heathens." While awful, they're usually the ones that donate the most money to the churches because "look what good Christians we are!" and that gets help to people, sure, but seriously. These are the people who will sneak their faith into every conversation, and before company comes over they break out the Jesus decorations, place Bibles on every surface, and turn on the Christian radio station. They are the people who make SURE you see them praising the Lord and basically follow all the good stuff, but only when they're sure other people can see it. They are so annoying. They're all like "whoooo look at me and how Christian I am, aren't I just amazing and spiritual and perfect?" No. You're a jerk. If you have to glance around to make sure someone's looking before you help someone pick something up, you aren't nice, you're an egotistical dinkwad.
9. Med students/EMTs/Doctors/etc who throw their lifesaving in everyone's face. You know these people. They are the ones who criticize the bad health of others, looking down on them because "I'm going to be the one saving you later!" Every argument about their personality is "yeah well I save lives!" Yeah well, you're also an asshole and apparently you HATE saving people, judging the disdain in your voice when you talk about some of your patients. They usually say casual things in passing too, to make themselves seem more impressive. Every chance they get they sneak little bits into your conversation talking about how awesome they are. "Oh, yeah, I pulled this one guy out of a burning fire..." "People don't realize how much work some people [subtext: them] put in to make their lives better! Like I stayed up all night curing cancer once." It's like, yeah, you do good things and save people and stuff, but you also mention it every 30 seconds and you act like it's the biggest piss-off ever. So... make up your mind.
8. Healthy people who are healthy for the sake of showing people how much better they are than everyone else. Health is all good, but some people (and I know of a few) will actually lose weight or eat nothing but complete organic stuff just to show people how much better they are than them. If someone feels the need to continually remind you that they eat ONLY organic or that they lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks, AGAIN, they are just lording over how much better they are than you. I guarantee it. It is why I don't talk to other runners, because I can't stand the conversations over how crazy of an incline the last 5 mile run was at, or how, and I quote an actual runner, "every run you take is a victory lap around the people at home, sitting on the couch." Okay, so what that tells me is that you are way better than millions of people you don't even know because you decided to go outside and do a thing that millions of other people do? Maybe they don't want to run. Don't judge them!
7. People who pretend to care about people's problems so they can be up-to-date on the latest gossip. You can spot these from the truly sympathetic ones because any attempt at not telling them your thing is challenged with a slightly-more-casual question in their attempt to get something, anything out of you. It's like they feed off of your emotions. It's disturbing, and smothering, and terrifying, and infuriating... all at once.
6. Wealthy people who donate to charity and advertize it to the world. Simple enough. You realize that you are allowed to donate money to charity and not sneak the fact into every conversation/Facebook update/phone call/letter/public discussion you take part in, right?
5. Horse rescues that are actually fake rescues. This usually goes high up on my list because they infuriate me so much but in the big scheme of things the others make a biggest impact. They call themselves rescues and everyone is all "ohhhh look how awesome you are to these innocent animals!" when really all they did was write "rescue" next to their farm name, and go and buy/pick up a bunch of malnourished horses that they can't actually afford to feed or treat, so they all continue to be malnourished. And you KNOW they can't afford a vet or farrier either so the horses go untreated and their feet untrimmed. Plus they NEVER have the time or experience to actually train the horses, so the animals slowly get more and more wild. And if someone points out "hey, your horse is too skinny and not taken care of," they're just like "oh no, he's just a rescue horse so he's on the road to recovery." No he's not, he went from one sh*thole to another with a prettier fence. And the SPCA is like "oh they're rescues? Alright then, makes sense that they're thin." NO IT DOESN'T. You need to actually RESCUE THE HORSES in order to BE A REAL RESCUE.
4. People who do little things for humanity and act like they are the biggest things in the world. This one is pretty simple. It's the people who go on for ages about all the things they've done to help people but in the big scheme of things they didn't really help anyone. Example: donating a can of corn to the food bank. Good for you for giving food away but really it's not that big of a deal. It cost you two dollars, if that. One can of food donated does NOT give you the right to brag about your generosity. If you "once donated a sweater to a homeless guy," you have not done your part for humanity. You have done one nice thing. You should do more, and not tell me about every single one, because your nice deeds are not something you need to throw at people like "love me" weapons.
3. Fake sympathy guy (actually usually a girl but this one had a better ring to it). The ones that pretend they care but turn around and talk about what a wreck someone's life is. Kind of an extended version of #7. Usually fake sympathy to your plight and then turn around and talk about it in a low, tragic voice acting like they are the only thing you have in the world and how it's "really just too bad," just so everyone they talk to can be like "oh look at what a great friend they are to that person! They're so lucky to have a friend like this..."
2. Slacktivists."Click like to find a cure for breast cancer!" "okay! YAY I HELPED THE CURE FOR CANCER. Oh, I should share this on Facebook to be sure everyone knows that I hate cancer..." I want to punch these people in the face and tell them their post was worthless. And I'm pretty non-violent. "yay I shared a status with a poem about child abuse! I helped fix the problem!" NO YOU DIDN'T.
1. Famous people who do good things so they can be more famous and act like the king of everything and do/say whatever the hell they want because, hey, they're famous and they've done some good stuff. This is why I hate Bono. He's done a LOT of good things, well good for him. He acts like a pretentious ass about it and throws it in everyone's face. That makes him an egotistical douche.
There you are.
Also, never been a HUGE fan of DEADMAU5 but this just gained him like 5 million respect points from me.
Also, WTF IS WITH THIS NEW NERD TREND? Now girls are realizing guys think nerdy girls are attractive and they're trying so hard to jump on the nerd bandwagon, but CRAP LIKE THIS KEEPS POPPING UP. I have eye-witnessed WAY too many things like this, and it's like insta-rage pills for me.
IT'S F*CKING DOCTOR WHO YOU STUPID WOMAN.
I should probably get off of Failbook now and get back to writing...
EDIT: ALSO, the other reason why I haven't posted yet is because I was panicking and running around prepping to be blown away because THIS popped up on the weather network, and is probably the most terrifying piece of text I have ever read online.
"Tornado watch for City of [CITY] - [ANOTHER CITY] - [ONE MORE CITY] continued
Conditions are favourable for the development of severe thunderstorms with the potential to produce tornadoes.
These severe thunderstorms will also have the potential to produce very large hail..Flooding rain..Deadly lightning and powerful winds. Use this time to secure outdoor property and to ensure family members and co-workers are prepared to take action should the severe weather approach.
Environment Canada continues to monitor the situation closely for severe thunderstorm development and possible tornado warnings. Please continue to monitor your local media or weatheradio for further updates.
Should severe weather approach or if you feel threatened do not wait for warnings to take action..Take shelter immediately."
HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS.
No comments:
Post a Comment