I've joined the ranks

I've suddenly found myself among the masses of artists and Macbook-tapping hipsters in a coffeeshop. I'm not, by far, a hipster, but I'm feeling a little out of sorts here because I'm currently an accidental stereotype.

I'm an artist sitting in a Starbucks with my notebooks placed carefully beside me on the couch placed before the unlit gas fireplaces, and an Apple laptop sitting on my lap. I'm working on my novel, as I'm sure half the people in here are also doing. My canvas-and-faux-leather messenger-style shoulder bag is sitting at my feet with a goofy snorkel-and-flippers key chain hooked to the handle with my little bundle of keys. I'm currently blogging about my life. Welcome to the artist stereotype, person.

Also, I just watched a nerdy-looking stereotype finish a 5x5 rubix cube in a flurry while staring at his iPad on the table in front of him. When I sat at the couch across from his table, he looked up at me like a deer in the headlights, as if someone in this proximity was a rare or terrifying occurrence to him. I sympathize, buddy, and good job on the cube, I can't solve the 4x4 ones to save my life, leave the other row/column out of this brain, thanks.

I'm only here because I had to fill out forms for a police background check so the people who hired me to teach children art can know for sure I'm not an escaped convict that's going to go crazy with a bunch of kids in the room. I'm too timid to have any sort of criminal record. Literally anything that could have me charged with anything requires more guts to do than I have.

This includes, but is not limited to:

Speeding
Parking in the wrong place
Littering
Spitting
Public disturbance
Failure to pay ________.
Tax evasion
Disorderly conduct
Theft
Indecent exposure.

All of these things require some nerve that I will never possess. Well maybe one day... I am forcing myself out of my little bubble of timid terror, bit by bit. Maybe one day I will have the nerve to be a day late on my payments... or run naked through the streets. Wouldn't that be the day...

You know, some places actually have runs/bikes for freaking CHARITY that are like "run 5k naked and raise money for cancer." Seriously. I would die. First of all, how can girls run naked?! Seriously, you need some... support.

See how easily I got sidetracked? I started off talking about how I'm a stereotype and ended with women can't run naked. And my criminal record is in the middle.

This is how I talk, too. Conversations with me suck.

Also, will have a drawing for you all (all 5 of you... I see you in my reader stats you creepers!) tomorrow. Going to start accentuating some stuff with the art I claim to be able to do but never show unless it's a scribbled stick-figure comic about anxiety.

I promise it's not abstract.

Also, while I'm on the topic of 5 readers... all 5 of you rock, I can't believe someone actually reads this crap. Now I have to find a way to entertain you haha.