Today turned out alright after all!

So turns out that despite starting my day off curled up in the fetal position and terrified of the world and hiding under my covers as if it would solve all of my problems due to a pretty substantial panic attack last night, I had a pretty freakin' good day today.

First was the e-mail from my last post. For once, my inbox was not plagued with e-mails saying "GIVE ME MORE WRITING" or "WHERE IS MY FINISHED ARTWORK YOU STARTED TWO DAYS AGO?!" or "GIVE US MONEY YOU OWE US MONEY IN 10 DAYS!!" but rather a very cheery letter telling me that my web hosting site missed me.

That in itself was good enough for a smile, but not nearly enough to fix my day. I crept cautiously into the kitchen to make breakfast and found the counters still buried under a mountain of dishes that happened last weekend when John and I were out of town (not together, just simultaneously). John was already there, which never happens because he's usually at work at that point, and was just losing his head over the mess but still not wanting to yell at the roommates. The situation has been the cause of stress all week and I think I temporarily broke there for a second. I got very grumpy and yelled at all the roommates for being such babies about messes, and they were all so shocked that I possessed such a thing as spaz-level anger that they all apologized, helped us to clean the kitchen, and pledged to be more grown-up about life.

Because everyone was all problem-solvey and team-worky, everyone suddenly got into a better mood. I spent a good chunk of the day with Laura in the basement of our house, hiding from the sweltering heat of the day. While she watched a TV show for a few hours and worked on some freelance stuff, I sat on the floor and worked on an oil painting propped up on the floor-level easel I built.

After all that was done, we sought out Ian and went group grocery shopping. I bought BREAD, you guys! I haven't bought bread in like, a month, because I'm all poor and stuff. I ran out of my last loaf of bread a week or so ago and I missed it.

So we went shopping and I got more food which is always happy times, because I always wait until I run out of food to go buy more and it's like "LOOK I'M NOT GOING TO DIE!" and excitement ensues.

We got back to the house and actually had a barbecue in our backyard with steak and chicken for me because I'm a wuss and don't eat red meat and grilled pineapple and real iced tea and a fresh salad with organic mushrooms and cheese and tomatoes and balsamic vinegar... it was SO FREAKING TASTY.

And nothing makes a mood happy like good food.

Then more teamwork happened to clean up that mess, and Ian, Laura, and I went for a walk.

We ended up going to a park and playing on a playground/swinging on the swings for a while before meeting some super enthusiastic and hilarious children. Ian and I had a jump-off-the-swing contest that I won only because Ian fell off the swing at the very top of his arc and ended up flailing like a mortally wounded chicken as he plowed into the sand a couple of feet in front of the swing set and I hopped off like a freaking champ and stayed on my feet even if I got less air, I still went further and didn't look like I was about to die. We ended up digging a hole in the sand before exploring further to a spot that has a steep hill followed by very sudden flat ground. Laura and I had a log-roll race down the hill and got super dizzy and ended up at the flat stretch clinging to the grass and laughing so hard that we couldn't move anyways, despite the lurching earth.

And then Laura got the great idea to have a race down the hill across the flat stretch. She doesn't run, so I knew I could beat her, but Ian I know from experience is one of the fastest little buggers I know. So Ian, at our complaining, gave us a head start. I biffed it coming down the hill, good ole faceplant because I wasn't expecting it to level out so soon, and had to scramble up and chase Laura down. I eventually caught her and impressed myself. Ian won, but literally only by about a foot.

So after all that chaos, we headed back to our house where I took a shower because I'm allergic to grass pollen and was probably about to die because I was so itchy, but after that quick setback I joined all three roommates and John's girlfriend in our backyard for a fire and some roasted marshmallows.

A stupidly solid day. Usually major panic attacks cause me to have a day or two of hiding in solitude in my room to recuperate from the shock and be able to talk to people without wanting to burst into tears because if how scary humans are.

But not this time. This time events were perfect and I am SUPER happy and just couldn't be more content right now with great thoughts, fun memories, and a full belly of great food.