I didn't do jack today and I don't even feel bad.

It's kind of a lie. I mean, in comparison to the real world things that I listed in my last post, I did nothing today.

This morning started bravely enough.

I desperately clawed my way out of bed this morning, for the first time in this house having to convince myself to venture into the cold of my room from the warm awesomeness of my comfy blanket. Usually my bedroom is sweltering and I have a fan blowing directly onto my bed 24/7 along with my window and door wide open to allow for circulation, but steady rain cooled everything down and sleepy-me was just way too unmotivated to reach up and turn the crank that closes my window, even though the window is above my bed by about one and a half feet... long story short my room was stupid cold this morning and I always have to give myself a pep talk before I do battle with the ruthless fiend.

In the end, the cold won and I raced from my room in a hurry, stumbling down the short hallway in my boxer shorts and tank top (or as Old Navy calls it, "cami") to dive headfirst (over-dramatization) into the warm welcoming box of a shower. And my motivation just pretty much spiraled down from there.

I spent the first 5 minutes wasting water by lying on my back and staring at the ceiling, just kinda feeling guilty that some people have to dig impossibly deep wells for just a sip of the precious liquid that I was letting continually drain for no reason. Also contemplating the meaning of life. After a long haul, I finally managed to at least sit up and complete the shower process, and then reluctantly get dressed and put my "I'm a real adult" face on before going downstairs to make food and figure out what to do with myself.

This started badly.

I hate fish. And I hate eggs. I also hate milk, but that's besides the point here. I hate fish and eggs, but unfortunately I'm also a bit of a health nut and both of these things are packed full of essential... stuff... so I put on a brave face and eat them. Well, this morning I was dead tired and starving and unmotivated and still recovering from getting my butt kicked by a semi-cool room, so I figured the more protein to kick off the day, the better. I ALWAYS start my day off with an egg. Usually disguised under spices and a slice of toast. Last night, I had cooked myself some fish and hadn't eaten all of it. So I thought, hey, add some meat to this party. Worst idea. I don't even know why I thought this would be even close to an okay thing. So I had an egg and a slice of fish on a multigrain toast and it made me feel wrong, like health had somehow molested my well-being for the day.

Confused and a bit agitated, I sat down to try and make some headway on my novel while the rest of the house's occupants were sleeping (University students + evening jobs = sleep until forever...), but instead I ended up in an all-too-familiar position; lying flat on my back and throwing a balloon filled with sand (aka "My Ball") repetitively at the ceiling.

Finally the rest of the residents trickled out of their respected bedrooms. One left for work, one left for a music clinic, and the other just sat there staring at me over a bowl of slowly-mushifying cerial as he tried to force himself into a semi-conscious state.

A bit annoyed with my inability to create anything intelligent enough for literary masterpieces, I picked myself up, grabbed my computer and headed for the house's practice room, where my drumset lives. I spent, oh... maybe an hour in there, learning a couple songs for a band I'm auditioning for in a few days. Now, an hour sounds productive, but my regular practice times last 4, sometimes 5 hours in a row. This is because I went to superhardcore music school, and it's become ingrained in my psyche. So, I became irritable and depressed at my failure at focusing for a normal amount of time, and I had hardly made enough progress on the songs, but I was beat (haha) and didn't want to drum anymore, so I left.

And my first thought was, hey, while I'm being unproductive, I should probably go for a run.

But even then, it took me talking myself out of talking myself out of a run, and half an hour of looking at fitness inspiration on Google before I managed to drag my pathetic butt out the door. The gym is a half-hour bike away, which is nothing for someone who bikes EVERYWHERE in a major city. I got there and started a treadmill run because it's rainy and miserable out, but about "3 miles" into the run I wasn't feeling so good. I blame the fish. A little put-off, I ended my run 2 miles early and commenced other workout. I also ended that a bit early because I was starting to feel dizzy and I still had the half-hour bike home in the rain to worry about.

So I changed and went home. Got yelled at by some crazy lady in a car which caused me to have a slight anxiety attack, even though I was doing nothing wrong.

Got home and immediately started dicking around on the internet. At first I was all "I'm going to read this one page of blog, and then I'll be off to real work!" And hours went by. Then I fell asleep on the kitchen table and drooled everywhere, and my computer ran out of batteries and I woke up to its pathetic "help me, I'm dying!" sounds.

So I made a pot of coffee, even though it was evening time, plugged in my sputtering-to-battery-death laptop, and bravely sat down with my "super ideas for novel" notebook to get some work done.

Nope, more funny blog reading.

And then "just one episode of Tosh. 0."

And then dinner/lunch. Which was NOT fish. Eugh.

And I still hadn't written a WORD for this stupid thing.

So I dragged myself up to my room where I commenced reading some drafts I have written and telling myself that it counted as work even though it didn't.

And here I am. And it's 12:30 in the morning, I'm dead tired and I haven't done anything.

To recap.

1) Bravely battle with less-than-desirable temperature. Lose.
2) Waste water
3) Worst breakfast ever
4) Fail at writing
5) Fail at practicing drums
6) Fail at workout but still workout so it's still a bit okay.
7) Have anxiety attack over crazy lady who wants to run over a bicyclist.
8) Procrastinate
9) Fail at writing take 2
10) Procrastinate
11) Better food than breakfast
12) Fail at writing forever but convince self reading own writing is okay too
13) give up and blog instead.

I'm a real grownup.