Why I hate prompt lists.

My critics and even editor all send me these fricking lists. They say "take these lists, scan them, and write about a new thing every day to help your writing brain turn. Except, I can't. Why? Because the prompts are all STUPID. They hold no intellectual value whatsoever, so how am I supposed to write a full writing journal entry or exercise on them? I answer them in my head as I go along, and this is what happens (examples taken from the latest list I was sent):

1. Name one thing that has always fascinated you.
   English language.
2. What is the most valuable item or largest sum of money you have ever found?
   $30/Silver watch
3. Name one thing in your life you hope you never have to see or encounter.
   TORNADO.
4. Growing up, what career goals or dreams of accomplishments did you have?  Did any of them come to be, how many did you abandon or revise along the way?
        - Famous musician/horse trainer
        - Sort of
        - All of them, sort of.
5. Write about a time in your life when things weren’t the way you or others thought they should be.
   Uhm. All the time. That would take too long. What a HEADACHE.
   
6. Describe an odd or unusual writing habit or ritual you or someone you know has.
   My author friend writes lying half on, half off of a couch. She's got back problems now, I guarantee.
7. Can a book really be judged by its cover?  Explain in as much detail as possible why or why not.
   Depends on the book. I don't know what other details you want.
8. Describe a moment in your life you laughed so hard you cried, had a drink come out your nose, or peed in your pants.
   This one time Laura and I stayed up all night watching the Olympics and the next day we were so tired everything was hysterical and I put everything she said on my blog.
9. Detail the greatest prank you have ever pulled off successfully.
   I unscrewed the cap of a pepper shaker, placed it back without tightening, and gave it to Roy who dumped it all over his pudding.
10. What musical medium did you grow up with; vinyl records, CD’s, or MP3′s?
    Cassettes and CDs.
11. How long was your longest inter-personal relationship?  Was it friendship, family, romantic, or something else?
    My father, family.
12. What is your biggest ambition in life?
    To not die, yet.
13. What is your lucky number, and why is it so lucky?
    Numbers aren't lucky, that's weird.
14. How long have you been able to live off the grid?  No e-mail, Internet, electricity, running water, etc.
    Once for two straight weeks, could have gone longer.
15. What is your favorite chess piece?
    The knight because it's a horse and does screwed up shapes.
16. Do you have a daily or weekly routine that you follow?
    Yes. 

And that is why I hate writing prompts. They never inspire me to write more than one sarcastic, ill-tempered sentence.