3am and a thunderstorm. And the things I would take with me in an emergency/the apocalypse.

It's 3:20 in the morning. Technically, I "went to bed" two hours ago. I had a hard enough time forcing myself to fall asleep in the stupid heat that is my bedroom (which I'm thoroughly not-even-kidding certain is hotter than it is outside despite a fan going full-force and my window being wide open...) coupled with sporadic insomnia. I had just finally managed to fall asleep when thunder happened out of freaking NOWHERE. Well, not nowhere, it was the sky, but still. It was loud, obnoxious, and sudden. No ominous in-the-distance rumbling first. I know this because I am an insomniac and as such any little out-of-place sound, especially the ones that make me nervous, wakes me up.

And I have to be up in like 4 and a half hours so I can go meet my father for an early lunch, which I'm looking forward to seeing as he's out of province half the time for work and I hardly get to see him.

But here's the thing. Besides ALL OF THIS stupidity, I am tornado-paranoid. And as our day was fairly humid and STUPID hot, and it's STILL stupid hot and humid outside, I am NOT happy with this out-of-nowhere thunderstorm. Especially seeing as it's dark and I can't see it, and the weather network is telling me there IS NO THUNDERSTORM.

Yes there is, weather network. I am looking at it right now. I can't trust them to give me acurate info, apparently, and so I'm nervously staying up and keeping watch and listening to the radio which keeps cutting in and out every time there's thunder, convincing my anxious mind that I am probably going to die.

But I can't camp out in the basement like I normally would because Ian's brother is staying over for a few days and that's where he's parked.

So I'm doing the best I can in my bedroom on the top floor.I'm half considering at least moving down to the ground floor to compromise, and maybe I can crash on the couch in our living room a bit better than I can here.

But despite being a wuss and more anxious than I maybe have a right to be, I am a SURVIVOR.

I am the person with the perfect zombie plan that everyone is jealous of, the person who knows how to live in the wilderness with nothing other than a knife and a string, and the person who has a specific course of action for every natural disaster possible even though I'm inland and most definitely do NOT need a hurricane plan. I have one.

Because I lived in Florida for a summer and know that shit is necessary.

So I've put tornado survival plan into play. That includes packing the bag I should have had packed a month ago AKA the things I can't lose. I pack it every year. It's a backpack with everything I need to not die should my home be destroyed.

This bag constantly keeps all of my super important stuff in it and hangs on the back of my door. If I need something, I take it out. It's no more inconvenient than a shelf. There are three parts to it: sentimental, genuinely important to my survival, and basic care.

The sentimental stuff is pretty much my photo album, a couple of letters from my childhood, and the necklace my friend gave me before he died. The important stuff is a lot more extensive: all of my ID, my med insurance, renter's insurance, art portfolios with original art in them, Oleo's vet records, customer contracts, etc. Basically adult stuff. Then some basic care stuff so I can deal like a travel kit type thing. Deodorant, a brush, toothpaste, etc. My purse goes the bag as well so it can come with me and bring things like my iPod, camera, wallet, etc.

Basically, the plan is: in case of tornado, toss my laptop in the bag, grab the bag and my animals, hide under stairs. If the house is destroyed, I have everything important to me with me and I survive like a rock star.

It's pretty similar for zombies except that includes grabbing the bag, the animals, a few swords (have 'em hanging on my wall... thank you martial arts!) and hijacking an SUV to get to Costco to wait the suckers out.

The only thing I haven't QUITE figured out about all of these survival things is how to transport the animals without them killing each other. Theoretically the cat would hang miserably from his stomach in my arms and the snake would go around my neck, but I think situational panic would decide that for me.

I don't know where I was really going with this other than to kill time while I sit up in my bed, super exhausted and in the grips of panic. Welcome to 3am me, blog.